So I've had a harrrrd week. Allow me to explain without tremendous detail.
The winter blues grabbed me with their thorny claws and just wasn't able to shake them off .. I was down, cranky, grumpy, and COLD. Nothing I was doing helped me.
Then I injured myself at work (no cool story here, I fell down concrete stairs and landed straight on my knees). So. Much. Swelling. So much pain. I had to put off my workouts to give my knees a chance to heal .. And as we all know, when Laura can't workout, she gets more grumpy.
Sadly enough, these bruises are actually a HUGE improvement compared to the first two days! And the swelling has come down significantly!
And then this happened.
I was registered to start school here in June. To get my dream career going. To make a better life for myself and my family. To stop working retail! I was completely devastated.
I wallowed. Between the blues, my injury and the school closure, I couldn't just keep going with a smile on my face. Old Laura's comforting solution here would have been to stuff my face with ice creams and pizza to put a bandaid over my broken heart. Today's Laura didn't have that to fall back on. I knew better. Eating comfort foods would take me fourteen steps backwards and create the snowball effect that is weight gain and depression. And I refuse to go back there.
So I had no choice but to FEEL my sadness and DEAL with it. It was hard. But it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I cried big ugly cries, talked things out with my husband (I'm so incredibly lucky to have his unconditional support), let myself feel the sadness and frustration .. And then I let it go.
You had to know I'd go there.
But it's the best thing .. To face something head on, deal with the emotions it brings up, and then let it go. It's so freeing. And I don't have to deal with the physical and mental repercussions of a binge cycle coming out of it.
And so ..
My knees are healing and I'm going to start working out again today (modified as needed so as not to injure myself!). I have a stomach bug today so I'll ease in with yoga.
I'm shifting my mindset from winter negativity to gratitude (yes it snowed but it's not -30 today, yes it took me twice as long to get to work yesterday but at least I got there safely). Seriously, do that. Focus on what you have to be grateful for. It absolutely helps to pull you out of the blues. Well, at least it's working for me. I'm also reflecting on happy memories and that helps to lift my spirits. And knowing that Spring is coming helps!
And l called a college to make an appointment to discuss my options there. The program I want to take is there too .. It will take me a lot longer to finish the program and get working in my dream career. The commute is a LOT longer .. But I'll get there. My dreams are worth it! And at least I still have options! My first school of choice may have closed their doors, but when one door closes, another one opens, right? I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason.
So this week wasn't stellar for me. But I'm stronger now because of it. And I am so beyond proud that I didn't fall back on my old, bad habits. I AM strong. And I will get my dream career. And Spring is coming!!